Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Tired of my own bullshit

"Starve the ego- Feed the Soul" 
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A year ago while training for Leadville 100, I developed severe tendonosis in my inner ankle.
A year later, I find myself scheduling an MRI; not only for said ankle, but for my knee as well.
Think my body is trying to tell me something?

Thanks to kinder, gentler workouts like swimming and yoga- I am finally listening.  I really should stop beating the shit out of myself.  There is a reason that I'm the girl that can't touch her toes, why I'm constantly sore and tense, and why my run has become a limp.   My body is holding up the white flag of surrender.  Intensity is no longer serving me.

My favorite author Elizabeth Gilbert says " I've never seen any life transformation that didn't begin the person in question finally getting tired of their own bullshit," and I'm so sick of my ego driving my training bus.  There is more to life than running myself (literally) into the ground.

Perhaps I could try:
Staying up past midnight to drink wine and laugh with good friends, followed the next morning by strong coffee on the porch while the dogs lick my feet.
Yoga and meditation.  Stillness.  Silence.
Time for others.  More you- less me.
Delving in deeper instead of running away.
Quality over quantity.
Soul over Ego.

"For everything there is a season.....a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down and a time to build up." ( Ecclesiastes 3:3)
Breaking down my body is no longer the answer.  It's time to build up, and heal.
I'm listening........