“With each passage of human growth we must shed a protective structure [like a hardy crustacean]. We are left exposed and vulnerable - but also yeasty and embryonic again, capable of stretching in ways we hadn't known before.”
I had a dream a few days ago where someone very clearly said to me “running makes you vulnerable.” Wow. The very word makes me want to hide under the covers. Running shouldn’t make me feel vulnerable; it should feel strong and safe. But as a runner, I am reminded of my shortcomings on a weekly basis. The truth is that lately my runs have felt more like a chore to mark off the list than a fun play date; and since my goal race has some pretty serious ground to cover…well….that scares me. It feels as if I'm a ship between wind and water.
How many times in our running journey do we compare ourselves to others, or doubt that we are good enough? With each goal that we set, we open ourselves to experience disappointment or anxiety. We put our heart on a platter, and serve it up for everyone to feast judgment on.
Dr Marcy Cole says “The ego judges, while our spirit is compassion. The ego runs with fear, while our spirit is fueled by faith.”
I think that in my dream, my spirit is begging me to use it as fuel for my continued journey. It’s time to quiet my doubting mind and to go on a fearless adventure. It’s time to be invulnerable.