Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Thank you consequence

" I can turn it on
Be a good machine

I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything....but I'm only human.

Christina Perri

I got the email and I knew I had fucked up.  She used words like "I'm disappointed" and "you said you would..." 
I said I would, and I didn't.  I honestly forgot- but that doesn't matter. I disappointed someone. I made a mistake, and those sinking feelings squeezed my gut and my heart.  
My first reaction was to be defensive and to come up with excuses for my inadvertence, but I had nothing.  She was right.  I was wrong, and I had to just admit it. 

I've been so lucky to work with really great managers who have taught me that we all make mistakes, but it is our REACTION to the problem that makes the difference.  When we are being confronted, sometimes by very irritated people, we can sit back, choose empathy, ask for forgiveness and try to make it right.  

So I admitted my wrong.  I let her know how I would do things differently next time.  I fixed the problem and did extra work at no charge.  
How she will react is her choice, but I feel better knowing that I was able to put on my big girl panties and admit my mistake.

We can live in love, or we can live in fear.  
I choose love.   

Tuesday, September 16, 2014


"Here she comes now sayin Mony Mony
Shoot 'em down, turn around, come on Mony...."

Billy Idol

One of the hardest parts of the triathlon is nailing the transitions.

When I first jump into the brown, cloudy water, it sucks my breath away- leaving me hyperventilating and panicked.  I find myself dog paddling at the back of the pack until I can finally relax and settle into my breath and stroke.  And then I'm fine.  I could swim all day.

Awkwardly clipping in on the bike, the course is rough and shaky.  My legs burn as I begin the climb.
I can't open my gel pack and I drop my water bottle.  I fear that the whole ride will be a disaster, but the road opens and smooths as I pedal to the beat of Billy Idol's "Mony Mony" dancing in my brain.  Sitting back on the saddle I soften, and then I'm fine.  I could ride all day.

I dismount my bike and my legs are jello.  My ass hurts from the bumpy  road and it's getting hot.
Clumsily, I change my shoes and put on my visor.  I take off.  No wait, my shoelaces aren't tight enough.  I stop and fix them.  I take off.  No wait.  I forgot my sunglasses.  Dammit- I can't go back for them now.  I take off.  Well, more like I run little baby steps on legs that weigh two tons.  I'm passed as I walk up the hill, yet smart enough to catch my breath and take a gel.  The first mile is quite a liar, feeling like mile 25 of a hard marathon; but by mile 2 I feel at home in the rhythmic breath of the run.  My legs grow strong and my confidence grows.  I begin to pass people, and then I'm fine.  I could run all day.

Transitions are tough.  We fear uncertainly and become anxious with change.   That's when I call out the motto- "Keep calm, and carry on."  Keeping transitions as smooth  as possible can make all the difference in your finishing time.
Transitions in life are scary too.  That new job, relationship, baby, a move.......sometimes we feel like we are drowning, or that the road is kicking our ass.
 I've learned from my races that by staying calm and confident, we loosen into our daily flow, and then we really are fine.  Each and every day.