Monday, August 22, 2016

When your body gives you the finger.

"Fall down seven times- get up eight"
Japanese proverb

It's been a nose dive year of racing for me.  Literally.
A freak twisted ankle on an easy 3 mile run right before Bandera lead to my first ever DNF.
The next race I entered landed me with 5 stitches in my right knee and DNF #2.
Most recently, just weeks before Leadville, tendinitis creeped into that same ankle leaving it pissed off and swollen; and I was forced to swallow DNF #3.
3 races- 3 DNFs
.
So...... It makes you wonder what the hell is going on? Why do I keep tripping and falling?
What happened to the agile dance that used to come so naturally? What is my body trying to tell me?

Our ankles hold our entire weight, so perhaps if that load is too much- they simply collapse. . Maybe my left ankle has been holding up the red flag of surrender for 8 months now, and it finally said "Fuck you Jennifer.  I'm done."

We know that fear, insecurity and emotional overload manifests in our body.
I think maybe its time to untwist, redirect, and find a better support system.
Maybe its time to find a more solid ground? 
Or perhaps its time to practice dancing again.......

 





Sunday, August 14, 2016

Forget all the reasons why it won't work, and believe in the one reason why it will.......

"Forget all the reasons why it won't work,
and believe in the one reason why it will."
Unknown


Forget all the reasons why it won't work. 

Forget the fact that the average finishing rate of the Leadville 100 is historically less than 50%.
Forget the fact that the cut-offs are unforgiving, with no room for error or misjudgment.

Forget the fact that the race is at high altitude from start to finish,
and that every breath leaves you feeling like you are running at tempo pace. 

Forget that you will experience rough terrain, 6 mountain climbs and 2 river crossings. 
Forget the dry mountain air, and the possibility of drastic temperature change ( while you have been acclimating to 105 temps with 75% humidity).

Forget the fact that you had 2 DNF's this year; stitches in your knee after a bad fall,
and that you have a touch of tendinosis in your left ankle.

Forget the fact that it will be extremely emotional, that you are carrying baggage in your hands and in your heart. That its going to hurt in so many ways.......

And believe in the one reason why it will......
Because you are never alone in this journey. 
You are supported, loved, and carried by the wings of angels
who know that in your element- you are powerful beyond belief. 





Friday, August 5, 2016

Think Less, Feel More

"Get out of your head and into your heart. 
Think less.  Feel More."
Osho

You think too much!
As you glide over rocks and roots, through rivers and canyons
Delight. 

Relax!
When the sun burns your face and the wind teases your hair
Unleash joy.

Taste Life!
When the wine burns your throat and your head is a carefree buzz
Be intoxicated.

Be Present!
Touch. Kiss. Skin on skin.
Revel in pleasure.

Let go!
Your brain is the fucking devil.
Your heart knows the truth. 

Trust.
You can do it.
I know you can.




Think Less, Feel More

"Get out of your head and into your heart. 
Think less.  Feel More."
Osho

You think too much!
As you glide over rocks and roots, through rivers and canyons
Delight. 

Relax!
When the sun burns your face and the wind teases your hair
Unleash joy.

Taste Life!
When the wine burns your throat and your head is a carefree buzz
Be intoxicated.

Be Present!
A touch.  A kiss.  Skin on skin.
Revel in pleasure.

Let go!
Your brain is the fucking devil.
Your heart knows the truth. 

Trust.
You can do it.
I know you can.




Sunday, July 17, 2016

For God's sake- it's just running!

"The root of all suffering is attachment"
Buddha


"I'd die if I couldn't run."
"I only finished 87 miles of my 100 mile race."
"I didn't PR"
"I only ran the half"
"My arm was falling off, but I should have kept going anyway....."

It's Sunday evening, and I'm saddened to see my Facebook page flooded with statuses like the quotes above.  So many people suffering via their attachment to running.

I've been there myself, beating myself up for not hitting my goal even though I had a fever of 101.  Being disappointed in not finishing a race, yet ending up with several stitches in my knee.   Pissed off because I came in 4th  place in my age group instead of third
Leaving a race feeling down instead of grateful.......

It's time to stop the madness. 
Being able to move our bodies through time and space in a mindful way is the gift of being human. 
Power, skill, fortitude....we make cool shit happen every day. 
Some people are exquisite artists.
Some people are  able to find "X" in the equation
Some people can cook a mean rib eye
and some people (the cool ones)  run. 
But we are also mothers and fathers, and lovers, and seekers, and gypsies. 
We gather, we feast, we pray and we protest. 
We help, and care, and give and listen. 

Running is such a small part of who we are. 
A very wise coach and friend once told me, "You are not defined by who you are as a runner.  You are defined by who you are as a person." 
Running, living, being....its a gift. 



Friday, July 8, 2016

Try the meditation. It's delicious.

"The thing about meditation is:
you become more and more you."
David Lynch


When you're floundering in the sea of anxiety you have two choices:
 sink or swim. 
It became clear that I was sinking when I felt work suffocating me, panic strangled  my relationships, and I choked on basic decision making.  I knew I better roll over and start doing the backstroke, or I would surely drown
.
I had an initial appointment with a therapist which went ok, but I kept hearing and reading about a technique called transcendental mediation- and I am a true believer that if you keep hearing or reading about something- you really should listen and check it out.  After going to the initial introductory class I knew this was something I wanted to explore, but I'm not going to lie, it was a bit much for my budget.  I had a choice.....2 months of therapy once a week, or 4 days of TM class. 
I chose meditation, and after only one week of 20 minutes twice a day, I am a believer. 

The TM technique is super easy.  The Mayo Clinic describes TM as " a simple, natural technique... This form of meditation allows your body to settle into a state of profound rest and relaxation and your mind to achieve a state of inner peace, without needing to use concentration or effort.
Thoughts come and go, and that's ok.  You're allowed to look at the clock every once in a while to see how you are doing on time.  You don't have to sit in a fancy pretzel position, and you are allowed to scratch your itch. 
I'm the girl who can't sit still- and I am starting to look forward to those restful moments every day. 

Every time you mediate, a layer of stress dissipates. 
I feel lighter and less reactive.   I have witnessed full potential and unlimited energy.  I am running better, sleeping through the night and am genuinely happy.  I know that everything will be ok.  Period. 

David Lynch compares TM to the sweetness of a donut:
"This is a donut.  It is very sweet and good, but if you've never really tasted a donut, you don't know how sweet it is.  Meditation is like that.  Transcendental meditation gives an experience much sweeter than the sweetness of a donut." 

I must admit friends- it's pretty damn tasty.  If  you want a bite, check out this website: 
http://www.tm.org/
 


Friday, June 10, 2016

Zen and the art of day to day life

"The practice of Zen (as opposed to the study of Zen) is something  all together different:
to give yourself completely to each moment as it is......and trusting that there is something much deeper than reason and logic, and that if you follow it, you might just end up where you belong."
Jane Dobisz- One Hundred Days of Solitude

Something much deeper than logic: 
When you wipe the sleep off of your eyes, and  make your little peanut butter toast with no crust and coffee with real cream. 
When your child stumbles into the kitchen, calls you "mama" and gives you a hug.
A goodbye kiss from your love and a "Have a great day."
A greeting from a co-worker, a "thank you" and a "good job". 
The meeting with your client- a gift for hard work and dedication. 
To play in cool water, to run in dreadful heat.
The call - just to check in.
The moment your head hits the pillow
Your heart, with you- always beating.  Your breath, with you- consistent and smooth. 
Give yourself to each moment as it is, and you might just end up where you belong.