Thursday, August 30, 2012

Be where you are...because you're already there

“Having spent the better part of my life trying either to relive the past or experience the future before it arrives, I have come to believe that in between these two extremes is peace.”   Author Unknown
Hi.  My name is Jennifer.  I just ran 4 miles at a 10:30 pace and I am dizzy with excitement.  Tomorrow I will try 5 miles, and Saturday 6- with the hopes of not having to stop to walk.  Never mind that 12 weeks ago I was running 60-80 miles a week on rocky, hilly trails preparing for a 100 mile butt kicking in the mountains.  I’m just happy to be running.  Period. 

I admit that during my first run I mourned for the “place where I was BEFORE my injury.”  Will I ever get my endurance and speed back?  Will my foot completely heal?  Am I less of a runner than I was before this monstrous tendonitis took over my foot?  Thankfully, with a few runs under my belt this past week I’ve learned to accept where I am right now, and it’s good.   

It’s easy to cling to the athlete of our past.  So often I hear from people that I coach:
“I was fast in college.”
“I used to be 40 pounds lighter.”
“….but I was younger then.” 

How freeing would it be if we could let go of the past, to be a peace with ourselves in this moment? What if we were grateful for our bodies as they present themselves today?

Today I will enjoy the buzz of my run/walk high, grateful that I have once again been blessed with the gift of running. 

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Opening doors to your soul

The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live. 
Flora Whittamore

I believe that there are no coincidences.  From the day we are born, doors open and close.  With each new experience, friendship, and love…we learn, we change, and we grow. 

We can be the listener or the talker, the lover or the loved, the teacher or the student.  We can live a thousand lives in one life time, just by opening new doors.

Live without regrets- for each experience brings you closer to learning who you are, and what your soul yearns for. 

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Where are you going?

I am no Superman
I have no reasons for you
I am no hero
Oh, that's for sure
But I do know one thing
Is where you are is where I belong
I do know where you go
Is where I want to be
. Where are you going? ”
– Dave Matthews

“Jennifer, my life is in turmoil right now.  The thing with my brother in law did not work out and I am in dyer straights.”

I received this text from a Back on My Feet team member at 10:25 last night.  After talking to him, I found that he was feeling frustrated about having to start all over.  I assured him that he had come a long way, and that this was just a bump in the road.  I also knew at that moment that I was not going to run Wasatch, and I was giving him advice that I needed to hear. 

Accepting my injury (in such a SMALL part of my foot) after 10 years of pain free running has been difficult.  Sitting still is extremely tough for me, and letting go of this goal race is devastating.  I’ve put in many miles, sets, laps, sweaty, hot runs and early mornings; but the emotional highs and lows of trying to make it to the starting line with an injury has been more toilsome on me than any training I’ve ever put in.  I’ve seen doctors, PT’s, chiropractors and acupuncturists.  I’ve gotten hours of advice, walked around in a cumbersome boot and cried caustic tears.  I’m exhausted- and it’s not from training. 

The homeless must feel the same weariness; beat from many miles on the recovery treadmill, dizzy and weak lacking proper nutrition, disabled with disappointments.   Wow.   I am not homeless.   I will heal.   I have many caring friends and coaches.  I am blessed. 

Our team members persevere to get back on their feet, and I know that I will do the same.  There is always a new challenge, always a race, and I would not be a good coach if I didn’t follow my own advice. 

Life gives us the wonderful gift of tenacity.   Thank you for supporting my fundraising campaign so others can have hope.   My new hope is that I will be at the starting line of the Cactus Rose 100.   I know for sure that I will take on this challenge with a smile on my face, and a grateful heart.  Besides, where you are my friends……is where I want to be.