Monday, March 25, 2013

"If I die out here today...."

“I may be going to hell in a bucket baby- but at least I’m enjoying the ride!”
The Grateful Dead

 The clouds are thick and foreboding, the air heavy and moist.  Chilling electricity strokes the hair on my arms and it’s clear that my trail running friends and I are about to face a tempest.  We’re at mile 4, in the middle of a cow pasture when the lightning strikes.  We count “one, two…..”CRASH!    
Hail pelts us in the face and we laugh to disguise our fear. 
“If I die out here today….just know that I died happy”  I tell my running buddies.
The truth is that I really would be happy if I died doing something I love like running trails.  I’m not afraid to die.  I believe that the source of my being (whatever you want to call it in your religion) is all light and true love, and that I will return to that source when I die. 
But while I am here with this borrowed body, I want to experience and enjoy all this earth has to offer. 

 I want to climb mountains and to run through forests so green that you believe that fairies really do exist. 
To ride fast and free, and swim in water so clear that you can see the bottom of the ocean. 
To breathe air so fresh and clean that you become intoxicated.

 I want to drink wine as red as blood, and coffee so strong that I can’t sit still.  To eat milk chocolate that melts in your hands and your mouth, and warm scones covered in honey.

 I want to give long kisses, and big bear hugs.  I want to snuggle by the fire, and stay awake all night because I can’t get enough of your voice. 

 I want to take warm showers with mint soap that makes my skin tingle, and dry myself with fluffy towels fresh from the dryer. 

 I want to experience pain and pleasure all in the same day.  To laugh until my belly hurts  and cry myself to sleep.  To dance and sing, to be still and to listen.

 I want to give and to be compassionate.  To learn and to grow.

.And when I have accomplished all that this life has to offer me, I will gratefully return to my source. 
Fearless, free and truly happy.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Wake up and Live!

“I feel I’m on top again lately, it’s got everything to do with you.  I’m alive.”  Love and Rockets
You’ve seen it in movies like How Stella Got Her Groove Back and Eat, Pray, Love.  The forty something year old woman loses herself to a mundane life.  She forgets that she is strong, and beautiful and wise.  She forgets the source of her soul, and that she is light and love.  She forgets what it’s like to feel alive. 
Over the past three years I have been on a quest to feel:  to be fearless, compassionate and free.  I’ve found that the people I have been drawn to- those free souls- have the following qualities that make you want to be near them.  They make you feel safe and comfortable….. Just plain happy! 
Free souls are passionate.  They enjoy their life and the people in their life.  They open themselves to adventure, even though they know they could possibly fail.  They are confident, energetic and romantic. 
They are grateful.  They believe that we don’t “earn” or “own” anything in this life, but that we have the pleasure of borrowing our bodies, possessions and relationships while we are here on earth.  They consistently thank the universe for those blessings.
They are compassionate.  They believe that all beings come from the same source which is pure light and love.  That all beings have something to contribute here on this earth, and that all beings fight some kind of battle on our visit here.  We are the same- therefore we appreciate each other.
They have no expectations.  Peaceful people do not expect others to act a certain way, do certain things or have certain beliefs.  They may be disappointed in another’s actions, but they know that it is not our job to change people.
They are fearless.  They take risks and they ask for what they need.  They keep in constant communication with their instinct so that they are not eaten up by worry or doubt.
They love.  They send love out into the world no matter what their circumstances.  They give because they love, they serve because they love, and they live because they love. 
Oprah Winfrey said “Surround yourself with only people who will lift you higher.”  In my quest to do this I have learned to love unconditionally, I have let go of any expectations for the people that I cross paths with, and I have learned that I can’t save the world- but I can love the world.  By remembering my source, I’ve found my soul and passion.   And that is how Jennifer got her groove back.