Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Almost 10 lbs happier

"Extremes are easy.  Strive for balance."
Colin Wright

In May of 2015- the week before Ironman Texas, I weighed 122 pounds and had 8% body fat.

I was perhaps in the best "shape" of my life; yet I had a hunger that never quelled, and a thirst that was never quenched.  Loneliness bore a hole in my heart as 9 months of my life was spent waking up before sunrise to train, working 9 hour days, training more, getting very little sleep, and repeating .....
AKA "Groundhog Day".

Training became my second job, and I'm horrified to admit the selfishness that ensued.
Many days were spent running away from pain, but the "bad ass" status that I had reached with my friends fueled my ego.
I finished that Ironman feeling empty and unsatisfied.

Today, a year and a half later, I am 131 and 13% body fat. 
I spend more time with loved ones, and  I've really started to "show up" for work.  Friday night happy hour is spent with friends instead of doing laborious hill repeats on the treadmill. 
I train a little less, give back a whole lot more, and smile much more often. 

Sometimes I work out, and sometimes I go get cheeseburgers with the kids.
I swim, I bike, I run.
I read, go on sushi dates, and revel in intelligent conversation.

I've gained so much this year- almost 10 lbs. towards a healthy and balanced life.
10 lbs of happiness.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Because you're already there

"Be where you are- because you're already there." 

I did not run the Dallas marathon today.  I didn't even run the half marathon today.
But I did run 8 miles at a 10:30 pace without stopping, feeling extremely grateful for each pain free mile, and relieved that running is starting to feel kind of GOOD again. 

Its funny how your brain works when you run, how you can draw on things from your past that you haven't thought of in years.  Today, the quote that popped in my head was "Be where you are- because you're already there." 
Now, I pretty much heard this quote 3 times a week when my kids were little.  I can barely remember the shirtless, long haired yoga guru on the exercise video, but I do remember thinking how ridiculous it sounded when he would sink into warrior pose instructing us to "be where we are".  The pose hurt a little, and he'd make us hold it for like 3 minutes, and in all honestly it just made me grouchy to "be there".

This morning  I felt a pang of jealousy thinking of my friends who were running half and full marathons.  At mile 6, I didn't like where I was....legs starting to feel heavy, wanting a walk break, "only" running 8 miles today.  But I realized- that's where I am. 
Four weeks ago I was only running about 4 miles at a time with walk breaks.  That's where I was.  And where I will be in 6 months from now will be where I am 6 months from now. 

Today, I am a runner. 
How cool that I'm already there. 

Sunday, December 4, 2016

On Recovery

"RECOVERY:  A return to a normal state of health, mind or strength."
the Oxford Dictionary

The air was chilly, and the trails a bit damp
but the leaves showed how lovely it is to let dead things go.

And both the running and the conversation felt free and easy....no longer forced. 
And the ache that once lived in my chest from trying to bulldoze through things not meant for me has given up; turned around and walked away.
The scars on my knee are fading, and my ankle supports my lighter weight. 

Bravely starting to pick up the pace, taking more chances,  jumping over hurdles....... I understand that life gave me the break I needed.

Smiling, I know I'm fully recovered.