Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Things are OUT OF CONTROL- and hey, I'm good with that

It’s Tuesday morning, and I am headed home in a chipper mood after a particularly good run.     I call my husband to check in, and then it begins…..
“Ben can’t find the note that he needs to return to his teacher, and Hannah thinks she left her backpack in the back of your car.  Oh, and by the way, don’t forget that I’m going to be home late tonight and Maria comes today. ” 
Ah!  Maria!  I begin the scramble to pick things up off of the floor so that our housecleaner can actually CLEAN the house.  I meant to get this done yesterday, but last night I decided that I wanted my children to actually be able to see  so I took them to get their haircut.  I ooh and awe about how beautiful the youngest two look as the stylist reveals their precious faces.  I talk my oldest daughter into a new, flattering style and she agrees.  All is good and I decide to read for a bit when I hear “Mrs. Kimble, can you come here please?”  Trust me, not what you want to hear when your child is getting a haircut.  Hannah has lice.  At 7:30 p.m.  on a Monday night.  So instead of picking up a few things off of the floor and preparing for my big presentation due in a couple of weeks, I am now combing lice out of my child’s long, thick hair, and dumping all of the linens in the house into huge piles so they can be washed. 
I feel out of control, and I don’t like it.

Control.  Janet Jackson and I both thought that once we were “all grown up” we would have it, but that is far from the truth.  But I’m starting to wonder, is that something we really want or need?  The definition of control is pretty harsh:  to exercise restraint or direction over; to dominate; to command.   I certainly don’t like the thought of someone dominating or commanding me, so why should I want that from life?
I like to think that life unfolds itself just as we need it to.  It’s not good, it’s not bad, it just is.  This helps me a bit to let go of my need to control things, people or situations. 
Man, it’s a hard thing to do, but when I find myself letting go, it feels as if a huge burden is being taken right out of my gut.

Life happens.  We can’t control our situations and we can’t control others.  I for one find that I am so much happier when I don’t even try. 

1 comment:

  1. I've always felt that life was more like being in a pinball machine than a road... Well written post!