"If I die out here today...."

“I may be going to hell in a bucket baby- but at least I’m enjoying the ride!”

The Grateful Dead

 The clouds are thick and foreboding, the air heavy and moist.  Chilling electricity strokes the hair on my arms and it’s clear that my trail running friends and I are about to face a tempest.  We’re at mile 4, in the middle of a cow pasture when the lightning strikes.  We count “one, two…..”CRASH!    

Hail pelts us in the face and we laugh to disguise our fear. 
“If I die out here today….just know that I died happy”  I tell my running buddies.

 

The truth is that I really would be happy if I died doing something I love like running trails.  I’m not afraid to die.  I believe that the source of my being (whatever you want to call it in your religion) is all light and true love, and that I will return to that source when I die. 
But while I am here with this borrowed body, I want to experience and enjoy all this earth has to offer. 

 I want to climb mountains and to run through forests so green that you believe that fairies really do exist. 

To ride fast and free, and swim in water so clear that you can see the bottom of the ocean. 
To breathe air so fresh and clean that you become intoxicated.

 I want to drink wine as red as blood, and coffee so strong that I can’t sit still.  To eat milk chocolate that melts in your hands and your mouth, and warm scones covered in honey.

 I want to give long kisses, and big bear hugs.  I want to snuggle by the fire, and stay awake all night because I can’t get enough of your voice. 

 I want to take warm showers with mint soap that makes my skin tingle, and dry myself with fluffy towels fresh from the dryer. 

 I want to experience pain and pleasure all in the same day.  To laugh until my belly hurts  and cry myself to sleep.  To dance and sing, to be still and to listen.

 I want to give and to be compassionate.  To learn and to grow.

.And when I have accomplished all that this life has to offer me, I will gratefully return to my source. 

Fearless, free and truly happy.