Feel again

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music."   Friedrich Nietzsche

A hazy sunset settled in the horizon as my tribe and I gathered at the Boyscout camp trail head.   Armed with headlamps, hydration vests, flashlights and gels we stormed the trail; a train of adventure seekers ready to explore what this night had to offer.  

It is said that when a person loses a sense, their other four become heightened.  I believe that is one of the reasons that night running is such a thrill.  Because it is dark, you are forced to listen.  You get wind of the snake first, only to see it slithering away in the beam from your flashlight. What sounds like someone throwing a bowling ball in the shrubbery it is probably just an innocent armadillo, but  beware of the constant mocking sound of the frog.  It can be truly maddening
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The ripe smell of the swamp becomes more pungent in the musty night, and my friend even announced at one point that many animals must be hanging out in the brush, as the stinging scent of urine blew in.

With your sight taken away, your dance with the trail becomes dependent on your intuition for foot placement, and the sensations of your body moving in that space. You must trust that your light, quick steps will not fail you, weaving in and out with your partner

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You can't see the sweat, but you know its there, salty in your eyes and trickling down your legs; and  the bitter taste of the thick, humid air requires respect.  

At 1:30 a.m. with 4 miles left to go, a fog of fatigue sneaks in.  I take one last gel and choose to dance the last call, running as fast as my breath and the terrain will allow.  A smooth shot of adrenaline takes me home as the trail and I tango together with sweaty tempestuousness.

Coming into the finish, spent and satisfied- I am renewed.  For putting all of myself into the risks of this run has reminded me only of not of the true bad ass I am capable of being, but also what I am capable of FEELING if I chose to tune in and hear the music.