"You, " he said, "are a terribly real thing in a terribly false world,
and that, I believe is why you are in so much pain."
Emilie Autumn, The Asylum for Wayward
Now Hiring- Genuine People
Job Requirements include: Being real, sincere and honest. You must do what you say, and say what you mean. You must have self confidence and the willingness to be vulnerable. You must be able to listen with your whole body, and use your soul as your inner voice. You must be consistent and predictable in a good way. You practice what you preach, and are able to share your truth with the world.
This job is not for the thin skinned, and minimalists are preferred.
Work experience: You have been to hell and back- maybe more than once. You continuously persevere, even when you don't want to. You never give up, and are grateful for what life has to offer.
You have loved- lost- loved again- lost again, yet you ultimately know that love prevails. You've been there to help others, and you've dared to be brave. Your inner life guarantees your truth.
Education requirements: You read. You study. You are continuously working on bettering yourself. You have goals, dreams and aspirations. You pray and meditate. You exercise. You recite affirmations. You not only believe in magic, but you count on it.
Authentic applicants only. Narcissists, attention seekers, those who are insecure, fake, or who have a need to manipulate others' emotions need not apply. No bullshit accepted.
Send applications to Jennifer Kimble, an equal opportunity employer.