Love vs. Fear- Workout edition
" Fear is the absence of love. When love is present, fear is gone."
Marianne Williamson
I didn't always love working out.
In my 20's, I showed up at the gym out of a feeling of necessity.
Simply enough, I was afraid I was going to get fat.
I didn't even know what that meant really....getting fat....I just knew that all the people in the magazines I read told me if I didn't work out it would surely happen, so three times a week I stumbled into a step class or Jazzercise to "pay my dues," coming and going with little plan or excitement.
That changed when I started running with a group from a local running store in my 30's. Because I had been pregnant for 3 years straight and had two kids under two years old, I LOVED getting away from the house and talking to other adults. I LOVED the fresh air, and I LOVED how amazingly strong my frumpy body felt afterward. For the first time, I really found exercise to be fun, and I looked forward to my 3 times a week run with new friends. I found love in a pair of running shoes.
(Perhaps I should write a song about it.)
My love/hate relationship with exercise has been a continuous one, and what I've come to realize is that every time I have hated working out, it's because I am coming from a place of fear.
When I was working out because I was trying to look good and give my ego a little stroking, it was for fear that people wouldn't like me the way I was. When I ran myself into the ground doing ultras, It was for fear that my depression would catch up with me. Learning how to swim, I hated it because I had to humble myself enough to suck at something. Biking was scary because I had a fear of clipping in and falling on my ass. Even teaching other people how to exercise still creates anxiety! I KNOW I'm an amazing trainer who knows my shit, but what if for some reason they don't like me?
The scariest workout of all? Yoga
Yoga forces you to take a deep look at yourself and ACKNOWLEDGE where you are. It freaked me out that everyone else could bend over and touch their toes and I could barely move! I hated the fact that I couldn't bend, hinge, or lunge without that familiar pull. I would rather poke myself in the eye than to go to Yin Yoga where I was expected to be present in my body and thoughts. I was used to running away for God's sake! I was forced to accept that I was not serving my body by beating it up, and to actually love it as it is. Yoga has taught me to have compassion for my body, tight hamstrings and all.
There are lots of reasons why we workout from a place of fear. Perhaps the doctor told you that it was time to work out because you have osteoporosis or your cholesterol is high. Maybe your ego is controlling the show and you (like me), are afraid that you will be judged for the way your body looks. Or you are fighting addiction, old age or even death.
Its not easy, but I am constantly trying to change my mindset to honor my self and others by coming from a place of love. My mantras include:
I love my strong body because it allows me to climb the highest mountain, or to swim in the ocean.
I love being in nature.
I love helping others to get stronger and healthier.
I love how my thoughts line up, or sometimes even drift away when I am in the flow of a workout.
I love that runners high!
I love challenging myself and setting new goals.
I love the people I sweat with.
I love moving.
I love myself.
"When love is present, fear is gone."
Now get out and go play....... and spread the love.
Marianne Williamson
I didn't always love working out.
In my 20's, I showed up at the gym out of a feeling of necessity.
Simply enough, I was afraid I was going to get fat.
I didn't even know what that meant really....getting fat....I just knew that all the people in the magazines I read told me if I didn't work out it would surely happen, so three times a week I stumbled into a step class or Jazzercise to "pay my dues," coming and going with little plan or excitement.
That changed when I started running with a group from a local running store in my 30's. Because I had been pregnant for 3 years straight and had two kids under two years old, I LOVED getting away from the house and talking to other adults. I LOVED the fresh air, and I LOVED how amazingly strong my frumpy body felt afterward. For the first time, I really found exercise to be fun, and I looked forward to my 3 times a week run with new friends. I found love in a pair of running shoes.
(Perhaps I should write a song about it.)
My love/hate relationship with exercise has been a continuous one, and what I've come to realize is that every time I have hated working out, it's because I am coming from a place of fear.
When I was working out because I was trying to look good and give my ego a little stroking, it was for fear that people wouldn't like me the way I was. When I ran myself into the ground doing ultras, It was for fear that my depression would catch up with me. Learning how to swim, I hated it because I had to humble myself enough to suck at something. Biking was scary because I had a fear of clipping in and falling on my ass. Even teaching other people how to exercise still creates anxiety! I KNOW I'm an amazing trainer who knows my shit, but what if for some reason they don't like me?
The scariest workout of all? Yoga
Yoga forces you to take a deep look at yourself and ACKNOWLEDGE where you are. It freaked me out that everyone else could bend over and touch their toes and I could barely move! I hated the fact that I couldn't bend, hinge, or lunge without that familiar pull. I would rather poke myself in the eye than to go to Yin Yoga where I was expected to be present in my body and thoughts. I was used to running away for God's sake! I was forced to accept that I was not serving my body by beating it up, and to actually love it as it is. Yoga has taught me to have compassion for my body, tight hamstrings and all.
There are lots of reasons why we workout from a place of fear. Perhaps the doctor told you that it was time to work out because you have osteoporosis or your cholesterol is high. Maybe your ego is controlling the show and you (like me), are afraid that you will be judged for the way your body looks. Or you are fighting addiction, old age or even death.
Its not easy, but I am constantly trying to change my mindset to honor my self and others by coming from a place of love. My mantras include:
I love my strong body because it allows me to climb the highest mountain, or to swim in the ocean.
I love being in nature.
I love helping others to get stronger and healthier.
I love how my thoughts line up, or sometimes even drift away when I am in the flow of a workout.
I love that runners high!
I love challenging myself and setting new goals.
I love the people I sweat with.
I love moving.
I love myself.
"When love is present, fear is gone."
Now get out and go play....... and spread the love.
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