"There's no problem so awful that you can't add a little
guilt to it to make it worse."
Calvin- from Calvin and Hobbes
This week, I find myself in between jobs, with 6 free days. You would think I would be ecstatic about it, but instead I find myself fighting guilt- for my conditioned self has told me all my life that busyness equals success. Luckily, this morning I went out and was reacquainted with a familiar friend on the trails. My authentic self. The self that knows only truth and love. The soul that knows that I shouldn't feel bad for doing things that bring happiness and peace into my life. As she encouraged me to let go of the guilt, I started thinking about all of the amazing opportunities we miss because of pressures that we put on ourselves.
Now, let me start with this blog with a safety label- I have come to understand that ANYTHING in excess is not healthy, but how many times do we beat ourselves up over doing normal, everyday things because we feel we shouldn't be doing them for "X" reason. Here is my list- maybe you can relate.
1. Eating Food. Drinking Drink. - You did it. You ate the donut. It was warm, and creamy and so fucking delicious, but the first place your mind goes is that you "shouldn't have eaten that." Of course now you're probably going to gain 12 lbs overnight and when that sugar high wears off you're going to spin into a world of pissiness .......so your day is obviously completely ruined and you might as well go ahead and have a "cheat day."
Omg. Eat the donut and savor its awesomeness- then move on and have vegetable soup and a salad for lunch.
2. A messy house. This one is tricky, because sometimes messes can make us more agitated and we would feel much better if we would just clean it up. However, how many times have you missed out on inviting your neighbors over for drinks because the house was "messy" or lost your shit when your kid left their dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher? In the grand scheme of life, do you need to let those clothes on the floor ruin your evening? We are busy people, and everyone's house is messy at some point. I promise.
3. Sleeping. Why do we glorify lack of sleep like it is a contest to be won? Whether its sleeping late on a Sunday morning, or sneaking in a nap before the kids get home, just do it. Sleep is medicine, and you and everyone around you will be better for it.
4. Sitting still. Sitting still makes me feel antsy, but again that's comes from my own conditioned, exercise freak mind. I actually used to get pissed when I would see others just sitting around reading a book or listening to music. Didn't they have something that they SHOULD be doing? Through my meditation practice I have learned that stillness is essential in cultivating awareness, which leads to so many other beautiful truths. It's ok to just be. Actually more then ok- its pretty awesome.
5. Traveling. There was a time a few years ago that I found myself confusingly depressed with $300 to my name and little credit. I literally did not know what to do with myself, but I knew that I needed to get away from all of it. I had miles, so I got on the American Airlines website to see where I could go with the miles that I had, and perhaps a friend that would let me crash with them. I to this day have no idea how I made all of that happen, but I spent three beautiful fall days running trails in Virginia, got my shit together, and came home to see my business take off. There are SO many beautiful places to go to. Just plan it and make it happen.
There are a few more things I can think of.... alone time, exercise, baths.......we all have our own list. In my mission to live more mindfully, I hope I can let go of guilt's stronghold. It's too damn heavy.