You are Responsible For Your Own Happiness

 “On a deeper level you are already complete.  When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.”  Eckhart Tolle

Woe is me. 

Between my knee surgery and a nasty sinus infection that followed I’ve been stuck in bed way more than I ever care to be, and because Greg has been gone for work all week I’m feeling lonely.  My first instinct is to be pissed, both at Greg for missing his flight home and at my knee for no rational reason at all, but I know deep down that I am just playing the victim.  

Marianne Williams tells us in A Return to Love that “the ego argues that the love we need must come from someone or something else, and that there is someone or something out there that can fill that hole.  The reason that anger is so often aroused in our closest relationships is because we are projecting on to someone else the rage we feel against ourselves for cutting off our own love. The pain we feel is actually our own denial of love.”

So tonight I decided instead to take ownership of my own happiness as I am today.  I shopped a little, had a nutritious dinner and took a warm bath.  I’ll write and meditate and read a bit before getting a good night’s sleep.  There may or may not be chocolate and wine. I’ll remember that this feeling of loneliness and sadness is only temporary, and that tomorrow is a new day.  I'll say thank you.  

Feeling depressed, unsure or lonely?  Step away from blaming your past, your relationships, or your job and take the bull by the horns.  Call your friend, punch the shit out of a boxing bag, read trashy novels, or watch Eddie Murphy movies until you pee your pants.  Whatever makes you happy, find that thing and do it. 

You are whole as you are.  Shed the ego and love yourself.