Monday, February 8, 2016

Don't look back- you're not going that way!

"You and me together, we can do anything ...."
Dave Matthews

"Baby, you have to get up and get going, or we're going to freeze."

Apparently this is what you say to your boyfriend when he's lying in fetal position on the side of the trail with his head on a crumbling log....because it worked.  He stood up, his legs wobbling under him like those of a newborn deer.
"Which way do we go?"  he asked.
"We go that way." I pointed.
"It would be quicker to get back to the aid station if we went that way."
Ah.  So his brain WAS still working.  That established, onward we go.

I looked at my Garmin.  My hunky, athletic stud was barely walking a 27 min mile, stopping often and telling me he was about to pass out.  Panic knocked loudly on my frontal lobe.  How am I going to get him through this?  What do I say?  Should we head back?  What if he's not really ok?
So I did what all humans do in a panic situation....I prayed.
"I cannot do this alone.  I'm going to need some help with this."
And I gave him to God.

It's the same phrase I found myself saying back in September when Jorge and I lost sight of our path and became completely separated in the woods.  After an "aha" moment of it's not my job to save him or anyone else, I let go, and decided to walk on my own path.  To my fortune, he did the same...because here  we meet again at mile 90.

Trudging on, I remembered learning to do a walking meditation once.    Walking slowly no longer was an aggravation as I became more mindful- breathing in with one step, breathing out with the next.  When fear wrapped its hands around my neck I concentrated only on my breath, and sending energy to Jorge.  I took his hand, and we inched our way forward through the darkness and into the morning light with its smiling promise of a new day.
"It's like a Sunday stroll," I joked.  "All we need is a little dog and some Starbucks."

We could have turned back when things were tough,  but there was really nothing back there for us.  We could have quit back in September, but instead we decided to take each others hand, and walk through this together.
We both know that there really is no finish line, but we do believe there will be so many reasons to keep moving forward.  Why stumble over something behind you?
God has our back.

1 comment: