Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Why do I keep running away?

Today's Centering Thought:
"My intention holds the key to fulfillment."  

It is day 8 of Oprah and Deepak's 21 Day meditation experience, but for me it's Day 1.  I sign up for every single one of the free 21 day online sessions they offer....but the daily reminders usually sit unopened in my inbox with the excuse of "I don't have time for that."
Today's session caught  my eye though:  "The Royal Road to Manifestation,"
specifically because there are two things that I have been asking for in life now.

The first is abundance.  For the first time in a very long time I actually LOVE where I am and what I am doing, but in it's currant infancy stages, coaching is barely paying the bills.
People tell me all the time, "you're happy....money isn't everything."  Well, money pays the rent.  Money feeds my family.  Having enough money takes away some of the anxieties, we all know that.  
All along I have said to myself, "as long as the bills are paid, I'm good."  But you know what?  The truth is that I would love to pay off debt.  I want to build a savings account.  I want a two bedroom apartment and to travel twice a year.
My intention holds the key to fulfillment.  
Even though I scrambled into an awkward and interrupted meditation session today, I was able to somehow feel (hear?)
You deserve all of those things, and the universe will provide them for you.   
Why is it hard for me to accept that I deserve those things?  But in so I set my intention.  I deserve those things and the universe will provide.

The second thing I have been asking for is a renewed connection to spirit.  God, the universe, my source....
For some this comes in the form of worship.  For me it comes in the form of silence.  Deepak says "The silent mind is where all possibilities are centered in seed form."
I know that in stillness and silence I feel the warmth of true love.  It is there that I understand that I am not a body, but a soul.....but getting there takes so much work!
I sit, and I feel instant pain that I have been ignoring in my back and hip.  My mind begins to wrestle with me. I hear the ding of two texts coming in on my phone.  I get a call.  But every time something distracts me I settle back into the sanskrit mantra (even though at the time I don't know what it means).
"Chit Sankalpa"
My unabounded awareness holds my pure intention.  
And as I finally settle in I start to understand.  God has been there all along, but in the business I have created in my life, I have lost awareness.  The awareness that I am love.  I am deserving.  I have and will always have everything I need.  And so I set my intention on remembering that always.

All of that in 7 minutes of stillness.  Why do I keep running away?

1 comment:

  1. Funny, I feel like I run away too...from running when things get stressful. Always the way! The thing that relieves the stress the most and I run away from it. Gotta get myself a nice run in this evening to get my mind quiet :)