"We are always getting ready to live, but never living."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
3:45- wake up
5:00- teach TEAM
6:00- small group
7-9- take kids to school
9:00- 3:00- clients, phone calls, meetings, work etc......
3:00- some form of exercise
5:15- take dogs to vet
7:00- dinner for family
8:00- so done. Should meditate - but I'm too tired. Ready for bed.
Some people call them "to do" lists. Some people call it "living by your calendar."
I'm starting to think its more like being in the prison of hell on earth.
Sadly, some days I wake up and the first thought I have is "how am I going to make it through this incredibly busy day?" Every morning, the race against the clock begins- and I'm off........
I want so much more than just making it through the day. I want to be present. I want to be creative; to evolve and to flow. I want to laugh and have intelligent conversation with my clients and my family. I want to smile lines on my cheeks instead of worry lines on my forehead. I want to gift my time peacefully, not frenetically.....because you my friends deserve more. And so do I.
In her article Why we Rush Through Life, Surah suggests that we busy ourselves out of habit, self importance, laziness, competition and control, false perceptions, pressure and avoidance.
Of course! We worry about others perceptions of us. We don't want to deal with our true feelings. We want to be numero uno. We like the adrenaline rush. We want it all.
I'm the first one to admit that I feel extremely guilty if I don't have a full day planned, and that I'll even create a schedule that includes cleaning the closet just to feel better about myself.
Its ingrained in us that "busy" means "productive" which means "happy." And by God I love the dopamine release when I cross things off of a list!
But its time to get out of survival mode. What if we were to make space for creativity, conversation and fun without feeling guilty? What if our focus shifted from "getting things done" to being present? Just the consideration of it all rocks my world. And so I strive....
But first- let me add that to my schedule ;)