Sunday, April 20, 2014

You're Braver than You Believe

“Promise me you'll always remember: 
You're braver than you believe,
and stronger than you seem, 
and smarter than you think.”
A.A Milne

"Hitting the Wall" for the first time in an endurance event scares the shit out of you.  You're going along in your race just fine when an unknown force starts sucking your energy.  You feel weak, broken and powerless.  Panic sets in and all you can concentrate on is the pain.  Defeated, you start to walk; all the while punishing yourself for doing so.

But the walk was just the break you needed, for it allows you to digest the gel you remember you have stashed in your pocket.  And instead of taking in a small sip of water at the next aid station, you drink a whole cupful.   A mile later you think about all of the training you put in for this day, and you decide to try to run again.  To your surprise, you gather strength and pick it up to the finish line, where a beautiful family surrounds you with supportive hugs. You're totally amazed by the strength you found to push through, and are forever changed.

"Hitting the wall" in life is pretty much the same experience isn't it?   Paralyzed, I curl up in fetal position not knowing how to take another step.  The crushing pain in my heart chakra steals my breath and I wonder how it is that here I am naked and vulnerable, once again.

But I start walking and gain energy from the sunlight.  I am nourished through family and friendship.  I swim in waters that support me.  I awe in the mileage I've put in, and memorialize past successes.    Having a heart broken open grants opportunity for fulfillment.
And as I put my faith in the God who will always take care of me, I find the strength to push through.
Forever changed.